So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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