I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I need to sanitize my soul.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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