I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
