; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
