Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
