Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
All I want is dick and wine.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
