she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
