First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
