I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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