and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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