i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
a search helicopter?!
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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