shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
