Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
