Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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