boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
