if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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