He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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