you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
