I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
