I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
