Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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