I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
