my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I believe in your delicious
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
