i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
