if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
