I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Randomize
