Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
