If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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