she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
