i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
