Pappa wants mamma naked
I cockslap morals
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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