dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Randomize
