It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
