I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just gift wrapped bread.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
