He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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