ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
