i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I stole a fireplace last night.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
