Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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