At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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