Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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