I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
