I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
