Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
