He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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