I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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