Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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