Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
