Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
