He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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