I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
