have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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