Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
